All posts by azeneth3

coronavirus, Family, FC Porto, Learning

Letter to my teenage footballer

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Many years ago, during those “in-depth” conversations with my dad, he told me this: “have a child and you will never sleep soundly again”. At the time, I thought of it as a joke because my baby sister had just been born, but then he explained it to me. As a parent, it doesn’t matter how old your kids are, you worry when they live at home and even more so when they move away. Later, you worry about their families and it’s a never-ending cycle. Now, I fully understand exactly what he meant.

Spending time with family May 2020. Three generations

I last saw you seven months ago, for some, it may not be a long time, but for me it is, especially when we were planning to see you for the holidays. As soon as we found out you were not going to be able to come home due to the team’s schedule, we started planning our visit. We made our checklist, packed our bags with your winter clothes and other special items to remind you of home. We gathered all necessary documentation having learned from our experience back in July trying to get you out of the US into Portugal, but things have changed, and your bags are still packed in your room.  As the pandemic has extended, travel restrictions have become stricter and more countries are on lockdown hoping to finally drive COVID cases down while spreading the vaccine world-wide.

Our original plan was to visit you the first week of December, we spent a few hours over several weeks researching routes and each country’s COVID requirements. The plan was to avoid Christmas travel and minimize layovers, but as the travel restrictions continued, our date kept moving back. Here we are at the end of February and still not able to travel abroad. And not a lot of hope that we’ll be able to go anytime soon as the lockdown has been extended through early April.

Enjoying homemade tacos for dinner at Porto, Feb. 2020

What has made this even more difficult to “swallow” is that we just brought Jonathan to Louisville, helped him get set up in his apartment, made sure he has what he needs and it just made me realize we never had the chance to do that with you.  Yes, you are a bit older, but you still had to go through this experience last year. You went on your own to see apartments, had to decide on cost, utilities paid, furniture, location, transportation to and from practice. Not only did you never complain about having to do it alone, but you made us a part of this process as much as you could. Our contribution was watching videos of the apartments and listing advantages and disadvantages, looking at maps for metro routes and easy access to grocery stores and pharmacies. I understand this is a process that everyone goes through in life, buy your first house, rent your first apartment, you just had to do it at a younger age, in a different country and with zero support from English-speaking folks and I am glad.  Even though it may have been a bit painful, it’s just helping you grow and mature as a person.

You can tell it has been a couple of emotional weeks and to top it all off….I keep hearing your voice! In summary, I am losing my mind 😊. The first time it happened, I had just woken up and could clearly hear you calling for me “mom”; it was all I heard. I called Jonathan asking if he needed anything but he was still asleep. Then it happened again 2 days later. It is a bit of an agonizing feeling because you wonder if something is wrong.  Came to find out you were having a rough week, getting over a cold and not feeling great. The weather in Porto has been cold and rainy and your apartment does not have heating so had to learn to adapt and get an electric heater going. You didn’t want us to worry so you never brought it up, but I have news for you….we are your parents and it is our job to worry even when there doesn’t seem to be an obvious reason. And even when you think we don’t know what is going on, your voice gives it away. If anything, we have learned that we are stronger together and even from a distance we will try to find a way to help you….ALWAYS. Family comes first.

Enjoying the sunset at Rio Douro

As I have spent the last couple of weeks with Jonathan, I have learned to appreciate even more any time I get to spend with family, especially my children. Working out, preparing meals and having those long conversations with Jonathan before going to bed are priceless memories I will treasure forever. It has been a year since I went to see you in Porto, but I know our time together again will come soon. Meanwhile, stay strong and continue as focused and organized as you have been, all the pieces will fall into place. Through this post I send you a “bear hug” one of those that when you close your eyes and enjoy the embrace makes you smile because you know you are loved and everything will be okay.

As for my family and friends, one takeaway from these last few months…..take any opportunity you have to spend with your loved ones, you never know what tomorrow will bring or how far away from home they may be. #theGomezway

Together again thanks to COVID , Mother’s Day 2020

Family

Happy birthday Jogo

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Seventeen years ago you were born right on Labor Day, you were thoughtful even then. I was working as a kindergarten teacher and was nervous of going into labor in the middle of the school day. My due date was Sept. 16th, but luckily you came early, when your dad and I were home. This gave us time to calmly go to the hospital, for what we thought was a precautionary visit. Three hours later, you were born and our lives were forever changed, especially your brother’s who wanted to put a toy car in your hand right away to play.

As a middle child you have always been the peacemaker. You and your brother have always been close and had each others back which was great. However, you at times felt “bad” that your sister did not have a sister to share that same bond, so you played with her and did whatever you could to make her happy. I have to admit she at times took advantage of that, especially when we traveled and you offered to pack up her bag. I am sure she would take you up on that offer even today….. You have a BIG and kind heart, there is no doubt about that.

These past three years have changed the course of your life as a soccer player, but most importantly, I have seen you grow and mature into a wonderful young man. My grandmother used to say that our children are only “borrowed” for 18 years and then they leave home to build their own lives. In my case, you left home much earlier, at the short age of 13. That makes me appreciate even more all those hours we spent in the car driving to practices, games and out of town tournaments, talking to you and enjoying the simple things.

Having a September birthday meant you were always home because school had already started. This year that is not the case. This is the first year you spend your birthday away from home, the first of many…that is how life goes sometimes. As I reflect on this, I realize I am not sad because I know you are surrounded by people who truly care about you. So far, you have had a home cooked family meal and a chocolate cake baked just to celebrate you. Who knows, you may not miss home after all, which is great, because feeling happy, surrounded by a strong supporting network helps you focus on your goals. Regardless of where this football journey takes you, there is no doubt the experiences you are living and the characters you are meeting along the way will be in your heart forever. Enjoy the ride son. Feliz cumple mi niño lindo.

coronavirus, Family, FC Porto, Learning

Farewell Johan…and happy B’day…from mom

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Saying goodbye was not what we expected, but it was definitely an unforgettable event…

We first dropped you off at the airport on Tuesday with your corresponding negative COVID-19 test result in hand. You carried a folder with copies of every possible document you may need to travel to Portugal but were we in for a surprise. We walked up to the AA counter 2 hours early ready to check in your bag, walk through security and board that flight to Madrid with ample time. We were welcomed with a bit inexperienced AA agent who was unsure what was required to be allowed to enter that country.

To be fair, we are living unprecedented times, where rules and restrictions are changing daily. After consulting with multiple colleagues, a supervisor, and an hour and a half later, she denied you check-in.  It wasn’t the end of the world, right? We could always try again the next day or wait for the travel ban to be lifted. How long was that going to take? 2 weeks? 2 months? We wanted to help you start the pre-season on-time. FC Porto was very supportive and willing to issue us another ticket as needed; however, we felt that waiting was not an option especially with the uncertainty and number of COVID cases rising in the US.

We left Terminal D calling the Portuguese Consulate offices in Houston and Washington DC and leaving voice mails. Where could we get the documentation needed to let you board that plane? What else could we do? We knew other players in your situation had recently traveled back to Europe. That made us think about another option: find a different airline. Delta had a couple of options with two layovers the next day and so we turned around and drove back to the airport to get to Terminal E.

The terminal was very quiet, no travelers in sight.  We approached the Delta counter where we found two very helpful and friendly customer service agents. We explained your situation and they immediately checked the US Embassy in Portugal website with specific requirements/restrictions to travel during this COVID-19 pandemic.  According to such website, the only requirement was to present proof of a negative COVID-19 test conducted within the last 72 hours. You had such document along with an employment contract, so we decided to move forward and purchase the ticket for the next day.  We wanted to make sure everything was approved and cleared in their system so you would not encounter any issues the following day. The agents, one of them a Portugal native, confirmed you had the correct documentation, so we purchased the ticket, called the back office for approval and gave you 2 boarding passes (DFW to ATL and ATL to CDG).

We drove back home hopeful, but doubtful at the same time. The flight was not direct to Europe, you had 2 layovers before reaching your final destination. Would you get “stuck” in one of them? Would you be sent back home? At the end of the day, we were happy to have you with us one more night. We stopped to get some food (Chik-Fil-A) and got ready for movie night (as usual). You didn’t’ even unpack as we had to be at the airport at 9 AM the following morning so you got one more chance to put Chuy to sleep that night and I got one more chance to see you wake up in the morning.

One last chicken sandwich in the US

We arrived at Terminal E at 9 AM, boarding passes in hand and several additional documents (translated to English) just in case. Since you already had your boarding passes, you really only needed to check-in your bag one-hour prior to departure and head directly to the gate. With our experience the previous day, we decided to arrive early and I am glad we did because we were in for another surprise.

Chuy is going to miss you!

The lady at the counter proceeded to call the back office as we explained what transpired the previous day. Once again, they requested an official document from the consulate or an official governmental office giving you permission to enter Portugal. The call ends without the approval needed, but the customer service rep continues consulting others and talking to us. The agent who helped us the day before who was fluent in Portuguese was not working at this time. They see the ticket was purchased the previous day and a call was made for approval, but no notes were put into the system with the details of such conversations.

so we try again, we show the documents from the embassy stating that “professionals with employment contracts are allowed to travel”. We also found the ID number of the immigration application for residency submitted to the SEF (border control government agency). That along with the documents FC Porto provided us ultimately convinced them we had what we needed so they called the back office one last time. It is now 10 AM, 60 minutes before the flight to Atlanta departs.

Finally, after a lot of paper shuffling and pacing back and forth, approval to board was granted. It was 10:24 AM and the flight left was leaving at 11:05 AM, they checked in your bag, gave you a boarding pass and wished you luck. I was standing with you at the counter, dad was with Joana just behind us with your other bag. You quickly grabbed your back and rushed to security walking along side dad as he gave you some final instructions and things you might need. Joana and I are behind you, I am looking at you walking away with your folder, documents and passport in one hand your water bottle and bag in the other and I’m just praying you don’t drop or lose anything.

It all happened so fast, there was no time for any pictures this time, we just waved goodbye. I remember you looked back at us and said, “Thanks for everything, I love you guys very much” and as you’re zig-zagging through the ropes towards the TSA agent, I just wanted to run and hug you, but you made me promise not to cry so I let you go. You had enough things to worry about in the next 24 hours. Besides, I was grateful to have had you another night, or really to have had you for three full months. It was time for you to return and you were more than ready.

30 minutes prior to departure @ DFW Airport

This was definitely a learning experience for all of us. One that dad thought he should share with other families. It would have been more convenient for us to wait for the EU borders to open and have you stay home a bit longer but that was risky. As a parent, that would have been the easy choice, but at this point, we are experts at making difficult decisions that we know will ultimately benefit your long term goals. Lesson for up and coming football parents.

It’s hard to believe you have been in Portugal for a year now. You left right before your 18th birthday and today you have yet another birthday away from home. May this last teenage year get you one step closer to your dreams. Happy 19th birthday son!!! (Feliz cumpleaños mi niño)